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Morning Deficits

I’m not really sure where I got the idea that people wake up refreshed in the morning. But it’s something I’ve always believed was the standard. People sleep, they wake up, they feel refreshed, their minds don’t immediately start negotiation and rearranging their calendar for the day so that they can get, say, three more hours of sleep that’s obviously gonna be restless but at least it’s horizontal time!

I can think of five times in my life when I woke up feeling refreshed. Three were Christmas morning when I was way young, one was after a heavy night of drinking where I miraculously didn’t have a hangover (nothing like knowing you dodged a bullet to unleash good brain chemicals!) and another was probably the morning before a Dave Matthews Band concert because if you haven’t noticed, I’m white.

The point is that rather than starting each morning with a positive thought about how much potential the day holds and whatever other nonsense energetic people think that’s not, Did I fall down a flight of stairs at some point last night?, I start each morning feeling like–you guessed it–I fell down a flight of stairs at some point throughout the night or maybe ran a marathon and forgot to stretch or train for it at all. And my face is swollen. And the Sophie’s choice of either pulling my hair back into a tight ponytail to expose my dumbass ears to the scorn of all people with normal ears or (even worse) spending effort wrangling my hair into something that I can wear down to cover my dumb ears is its own daily obstacle. And now to complicate that choice further, because hormones, I either have dandruff or my brain is slowly emerging from its skull cocoon as layers of my scalp peel off. Hoping for the latter because my brain’s not entirely useful for much lately anyway. BE FREE, BRAIN! Run away to a land where logic and critical thinking still exist!

I begin each morning depleted, basically. I was always led to believe you start with a full tank of gas when you wake up, but I start with an empty one and the closest gas station is 30 miles away, there are no other cars around, so I’m gonna have to hoof it with my little gas can. I gas up with coffee, breakfast, taking the dogs to the park, putting on pants (hopefully not in that order, but I’m not perfect), and then start the day with just enough gas (okay, so maybe this gas metaphor needs to go because as someone with a well-known gluten sensitivity and lactose intolerance, this could easily be taken the wrong way (but then again, I am gassy in the mornings, so.)) fuel to push forward and hope I find some more motivation elsewhere throughout my day. Then at the end of the day, tank is empty again. And in the morning it’s emptier.

I make healthy dietary choices, exercise way more than the average American, have a job I love, make good life decisions in general, and the Cowboys are having an incredible season. So why in god’s name does every day start at a deficit? I should be unstoppable.

But maybe this is how a lot of folks feel. Maybe this is more normal than the myth of the “good morning” has led us all to believe. Having that expectation definitely makes the bad starts feel worse. It’s just another success myth that crushes the soul, I guess.

So I’m throwing it out to you guys. Do you wake up feeling the same as me? Leave it in a comment. I only kind of want to hear it if you don’t, meaning I’m happy for you, but you’re not making me feel better. But if you used to feel the same and then you found some way to change it, I’ll take that for sure. And if you just want to craft similes about what your body feels like in the morning and leave those in the comments, that’s welcome for sure.

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